Troll
by Zie Ayton
Summary: Ryuzaki's fishing for pictures of naked women on a dating site. Mai is bored and decides to play around on the same. Rating for strongish language and sexual themes. Round four YGOFFC fic. Bribeshipping.


_**Troll**_

Ryuzaki dropped his book bag on the floor beside his desk as he plopped down in front of his computer. He stretched out his arms and fingers as he waited for it to boot up, preparing for a long night of smooth-talking his way into pictures of naked women. He had a good feeling about tonight. He typed in his password and opened up his browser, which he had set to automatically open all three of the dating sites he was currently abusing. As Ryuzaki waited for them to load, he opened up an apparently empty folder in his documents labeled "paleontology research". He pressed ctrl+a, and suddenly the window was lit up in bright blue, revealing an assortment of folders with labels such as "breasts", "vagina", "ass", and "full". He was up to a total of twenty-nine pictures total, not bad for a fifteen-year-old if he did say so himself. His goal for the night was to bring that number up to an even thirty. He breathed in the smarm he needed, inhaling the victory that radiated from the conquests before him, allowed inspiration to strike before clicking back to his browser and choosing the third site.

His profile here was that of a lonely paleontologist named Arthur Hopkins stranded at a dig in Egypt. He was surrounded by men out in the middle of the Sahara desert, only able to connect to the Internet in the evening via the dig's portable WiFi. Ryuzaki spent a moment doing a fact check. This would be day fifty-two of the dig. Arthur had brought a webcam, but it was ruined when one of the excavators spilled beer on it. He has overseen the excavation of not only the hill that had been previously buried under ten feet of sand, but also a perfectly in tact Apatosaurus cranium and a shattered vertebra with a piece that did not fit anywhere, hinting that there were perhaps more fossilized bones in the hill. Ryuzaki nodded, satisfied that he could go back to any girl with whom he had chatted previously and get a new picture out of her.

He checked his chat window, but none of his "friends" were online, so he took to browsing. The first city he searched was Tokyo, then Yokohama, and finally Osaka, without coming across anyone sufficiently sexy who seemed as though she would be willing to send topless pictures of herself to a faceless stranger who was supposedly halfway around the world. He leaned back in his chair and groaned; he'd forgotten that of the three sites, this one attracted the most desperate crowd of singles—thus why he had chosen to portray a stranded paleontologist—not in that they were willing to do _anything_ for a date, but more in that they were generally so prudish that they were forced to resort to a site made up entirely of similarly prudish people. Ryuzaki's enthusiasm was waning quickly. He decided he would try one more city before giving up on the account for the night. His fingers flew over the keys, typing out D-o-m-i…

:::

Mai lounged on the king-size bed of her cushy apartment, staring up at the ceiling. She was so bored she almost picked up the romance novel that had been left lying on the bedside table by the last tenant, but thought better of it just as her arm reached out to brush away the dust that had been collecting on its cover. She glanced around the room, searching for something, _anything_ to occupy her time. Her eyes happened over the phone jack in the wall, and she remembered that back when she was a younger girl, Internet had only been available after plugging the modem into the wall and severing all other outside connections, none of this WiFi and data plan crap that was available nowadays. Mai examined the jack more closely than necessary, tracing the tiny crack that emerged from under the upper right hand corner of the plate up the wall as she decided to invest in a laptop to prevent any more nights like this. She allowed her eyes to drift closed as she considered what type of laptop she would buy. Just as Mai was about to fall asleep, she opened her eyes and shifted so she could look at the clothes she had draped over the chair sitting in front of her vanity and considered whether it was all right to put them back on. She had just remembered something the clerk woman had told her the day she moved into the apartment building, something about free WiFi and computer access for residents. Mai slid out of bed and sidled over to her vanity, in front of which she removed the silk robe she had been wearing. She pulled on her skirt and corset top, winking at her reflection as she pulled it just tight enough to stay on, but loose enough to reveal a strip of flesh down the center of her torso.

In the lobby, Mai followed the series of signs attached to the ceiling until she came upon a room bearing the designation of "computer lounge". She could see through the glass door, so she allowed herself in and settled in front of an isolated machine in the back of the room. She waved the mouse until the screen came on. Seeing that the computer was already logged in, Mai clicked the browser, disregarding the nagging voice that told her that someone would inevitably return to find her using his account and call security on her. There were several open tabs already, one of which she recognized as a dating site. Specifically, it was a page onto which the true owner of the account would upload pictures of…_her_self Mai decided in response to the name "Keiko" at the top of the page. Mai looked at the top of the computer screen, a mischievous grin spreading across her lips when she saw the webcam embedded in its frame. She took about ten minutes to edit the profile before sitting back and admiring her handiwork. If _this_ didn't earn Keiko's page some hits, then there was no hope for Internet dating.

:::

…n-o. Ryuzaki pressed enter, not expecting much to come of searching the town. He scrolled through the pages of markedly unprovocative profiles. His mouse lingered on the arrow for page ten as he wondered whether it was worth going all the way to the last page when he _knew_ there was little chance of finding anything. Finally, he clicked, deciding that one more page was all he could handle of the disappointment. His eyes widened at what he had come upon. At the top of the page were pictures of a woman in a white corset top that was not only apparently on backward, but which the wearer—a voluptuous blonde woman who couldn't be older than twenty-five—had not bothered to pull together. His eyes lingered longingly on the strip of bare flesh that included a limited view of her _beautiful_ breasts. Ryuzaki couldn't click into her profile fast enough. He read through it, finding to his joy that the more he read the easier his endeavor sounded. He clicked the chat button up by her screen name KeiBird and began typing out his best greeting…

:::

**dinolover: **I noticed your profile while I was browsing. It seems a bit risqué for a site like this, don't you think?

**KeiBird: **Are you criticizing my method of attracting attention?

**dinolover:** No. I was just wondering what might have brought such a beautiful woman as yourself to a dating website. Surely you have men falling over themselves for a chance to date you.

**KeiBird:** It's harder to find a GOOD man than you might think. What about you? What's YOUR story?

**dinolover:** I'm stranded in the Sahara with the other members of my excavation team.

**KeiBird:** That sounds exciting.

**dinolover:** Not in the least. I'm surrounded by sweaty, sexually frustrated men who are tired of being out in the middle of nowhere.

**KeiBird:** How long has it been exactly?

**dinolover:** We've been out here for fifty-two days. But yesterday's discovery could mean that we'll be out here for many more days to come.

**KeiBird:** What did you discover?

**dinolover:** The shattered remains of an Apatosaurus vertebra, which we've put back together. It was just below the skull of the animal, and the piece that doesn't fit elsewhere indicates that we may be in for even more fossilized bones if we keep digging.

**KeiBird:** So this could be the find of your career?

**dinolover:** Yes. It's just unfortunate that making the find requires me to spend so long isolated from the outside world. I haven't seen a woman since my men and I left Cairo.

**KeiBird:** You wanna see a REAL woman, hon?

**dinolover:** …come again?

**KeiBird:** What's your email? I think I can alleviate a little of that isolation for you. ;)

:::

Mai smirked at the chat screen as the poor sap—or perhaps not, since for all she knew he was a thirteen-year-old pervert fishing for sympathy and nudes—sent her his email. She turned on the webcam and stood up, leaning forward and hitting record before stepping back a little. She ran her hands over her body, through her hair, winking and doing her best to be generally sexy. When she decided she had enough to work with, she turned the camera off and opened up the video in the computer's editing software, where she polished it off and added on the finishing touch. She watched the video just to make sure she hadn't cut something she wanted in it. Once satisfied with her work, she saved it to the desktop so she could easily delete the video once she had sent it to "dinolover". Mai attached the video to an email, using Keiko's account, which had been among the open tabs. She twirled her right index finger over the mouse before clicking send, smirking all the while.

:::

Ryuzaki's hands were sweating as he clicked on the new email. He couldn't wait to see what "KeiBird" had sent for him. He looked at the last four characters and his heart skipped a beat. It was an .mp4 file. He took a deep breath, steadying himself in the face of his sheer awesomeness, and finally opened the video. Ryuzaki's mouth hung open as "KeiBird" ran her hands over her body, her fingers brushing over the place on her breasts where her nipples surely had to be. His breathing shallowed as he watched her body move as though to the beat of a favorite song, beautiful and _damn_ was this hot. A grin slid over his lips as she leaned forward and made a beckoning motion with one finger, one of her eyes giving him a slow, sultry wink. The video zoomed into her breasts, and Ryuzaki automatically leaned in as her fingers slipped between her top and her skin and took hold of the fabric. "KeiBird" began pulling the fabric down, her pace agonizingly slow. Just as she got to the point that would fully uncover her naked breasts, and earsplitting scream blasted through his speakers, accompanied by a picture of a masked murderer. The shock sent Ryuzaki flying backward, toppling over with his chair on top of him. He turned back to the screen and saw "KeiBird" winking and giving him a smirk before turning off the camera.

:::

**dinolover:** YOU ARE A BITCH

**KeiBird:** HAHAHAHA ;P

:::

Mai cackled at the response she received from "dinolover". She went through Keiko's profile and deleted everything she had just done, leaving the page bare. She then opened the desktop folder and moved to delete the video. But on a second thought, she opened up her own email and sent it to herself first, forseeing a long, happy relationship with her new hobby of trolling unsuspecting saps on dating websites.

* * *

And there you have it! Thank you for reading!

As always, reviews are much appreciated!


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